The Free Your Mind Projects

8 Easy Ways Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Work for Real Happiness

2012-01-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's that time of year again all over the world: many of us are doing our New Year's promises to ourselves on how we will change, be better, live, lose, love you name it.

On our radio show one of our favorite guests we've had on in the past, Dr. William Arroyo from the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, has some tips you can use. These are suggestions from a holistic and psychological standpoint on how we really should put together our lists. These tips are meant to develop a more rounded sense of self and overall happiness on a day to day basis instead of focusing on a laundry list of things that are further out in our futures and may or may not happen.

Here are his suggestions for a more soul-satisfying year:

1. Resolve to do a self-inventory. “Take note of all the good things, large and small, that were achieved in the prior year,” Dr. Arroyo says. Write them down—you might be pleasantly surprised at all you’ve accomplished. Now take special note of anything that was not only good for you, but also good for your family, workplace or community, and consider doing them again this year.

2. Resolve to give yourself permission to change. This is harder for some people than it sounds, Dr. Arroyo says. Behaviors become entrenched. Friends and families become invested in old habits. “It isn’t always easy to remember that it’s in our nature to pursue good,” he says. “It’s okay to do something differently, especially when doing it the same old way hasn’t worked or has offended those close to you.”

3. Resolve to build pleasure into even into the smallest of budgets. “Maybe you want to manage your money more efficiently,” says Dr. Arroyo, “or allocate for all your bills. That’s fine, but if there’s anything leftover, don’t forget to allocate some resources for pleasure—and pleasure doesn’t have to be expensive. Sometimes pleasure can be just spending time with friends and family, or with those one didn’t have time for in the prior year.”

Find ways to lower those stress levels.

4. Resolve to be healthy. “And that includes mental health,” the doctor says. “Pay attention to diet and exercise. Avoid harmful substances, whether it’s fatty food, or alcohol or some other potentially harmful thing. But also monitor moods and feelings. If one’s social life is unsatisfactory, think about bringing parts of that to a close. If people around you appear to jeopardize your well-being, think about changing your social circle. Whether it’s foods and beverages or people, give yourself permission to get away from toxic environments.”

5. Resolve to seek peace. “Yoga, prayer, meditation—these work wonders for many people,” says Arroyo. So, he adds, does professional counseling. “Everyone experiences worry and anxiety, but if that’s your primary mood, then it’s probably excessive and you might want to consult with a spouse, a partner, a trusted relative or member of your congregation, or you may want to seek professional help. A little bit of anxiety is normal and useful, but not to the degree where it interferes with your well-being.”

6. Resolve to communicate. “Becoming closer often entails making an inquiry,” says the doctor. If you’d like to be closer to your loved ones, “ask how you can be better with them this year. Be humble. Give the other person permission to let you know when you do something that causes them displeasure—and be willing to change it.” Or, if you aren’t getting what you need from your relationships, resolve to say so: “It’s okay to set limits with others, no matter how close or how distant they might be.”

7. Resolve not to overlook the positive. “One needs to be objective in tough times,” says Dr. Arroyo, “and to keep in mind that there is always more than one way of looking at things. Even in our darkest, most painful moments, there is often a bright side.” Hard times pass, he says, but those who weather them can come away with valuable life experience.

8. Resolve to reach out. “As folks are winding up the year, there’s always a lot of hustle and bustle, and we forget that some people are not as fortunate as we are,” Dr. Arroyo says. “Those who don’t have our means or our health or our rich circle of family and friends could benefit from some demonstration of interest in their well-being—spending time with them, conveying that we care.” Donating to charity isn’t the only route, either. “You can volunteer in an organization,” he says, “or work within your neighborhood.” The key, he says, is to connect and be useful: “It reminds that one is more than the things and money one has.”

Hope you enjoyed these tips and that you all have a great year from your friends at Free Your Mind!

Christmas Gift Ideas that Keep on Giving...

2011-12-17T13:12:00.000-08:00

I LOVE giving those “special” gifts for all my loved ones and friends! I get this from my mom who has been selfless all her life and has always looked for things for others versus herself. She loves giving more than receiving and so do I.

A few years back, I started to give gifts to people that weren’t just gifts of jewels and other objects that are soon forgotten. I wanted to give more to connect everyone to a kind of “service” for others.

My favorite example of this is my best friend Suzy. She loves cats… omg… more than loves them, she worships them too! She has a kind of shrine to her cats of pictures and such. lol I love her and wanted to give her something special.

I am a subscriber to this site called “Greater Good”. The idea is to give gifts of meaning. Gifts that not only make the receiver happy, but also do good for others around the world.

So I decided that Suzy should get a certificate that showed that in honor of her birthday, she was feeding about 100 cats that were in shelters and hopefully making it so they weren’t on the “kill” lists.

I have never experienced the degree of the love and tears that came from this particular gift ever. I didn’t quite expect it, but I knew going into it that I would feel good about it for us and the cats. I didn’t know how much it would move her too. She was in tears and so happy at the same time.

The reason I’m writing this is because I know that most of us love to “give” and it’s a great feeling. Giving actually releases a lot of Serotonin into our brains when we have a positive experience like this. And Serotonin is the "feel good" drug we all need and this is natural!

This is a way to give “both ways”. Doing something that the recipient, you AND another can benefit from seems to me to be the “Greatest Good”! I highly recommend that you check out this website next time you’re looking for a gift for anyone: http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&link=ctg_ars_home_from_ars_home_sitenav

How does this all tie into our health? Quite naturally actually. In an era where materialism is rampant and in our music and on our televisions, it turns out that the simple act of saying, “Hey, I think you’re special, or you mean something to me and I really GET you” can be pretty good for both the giver and the receiver. So much pressure is put on the finances of giving and not enough on the caring act. At the end of the day, how many funerals include “What an incredible resume, and let’s remember him or her because we received the most expensive gifts!” as part of a Eulogy? A "natural" high from one of our most valued brain chemicals, serotonin, is enough for all of us to want to "give".

A positive attitude and feeling good about yourself is important and it’s nice to let people know you care. For people that are dealing with health issues, it’s extremely important.

The above link is to the Animals help site, but you can give to other causes like World Hunger, Breast Cancer, Veterans, Child Health, Autism, Literacy and the Rain Forest. If you're going to buy someone some jewelry, hats or other items, why not get something that goes a long way for many and not just one?

Why not give 3 fold? Happy Giving!

David Lynch Foundation Gala and Tributes

2011-12-07T13:32:00.000-08:00

We all had a great time at the David Lynch Foundation's Gala on Saturday. We got to interview many of the stars that are using Transcendental Meditation (TM) as well as the brilliant scientists and everyday people that have had their lives changed through the foundation.

It was also wonderfully entertaining with guests like Ellen DeGeneres, Russel Brand and David Lynch talking about their experiences. Russel Simmons, who was kind enough to give us a long interview on the show, also received a much deserved award for all his generous work.

Then the benefactors of the programs came up with their wonderful stories of how this program changed their minds and lives. Vets experience 50% less PTSD side effects. Children were not only raising their scores in inner city classrooms, but were now displaying attendance and other measurements surpassing other schools that previously scored ahead of them. The list went on and on with people that were at their rock bottom, now living happier, healthier lives.

One very surprised quantum physics genius had an impromptu sit down at the end with Russel Brand. He told me it was completely un-rehearsed and yet they had the crowd laughing hysterically and learning at the same time. He said Russel is brilliantly smart. Katy Perry was there and looked great and happy with Russel on the red carpet earlier that evening.

I can honestly report this as well: I have been to very many charity events and I've always been happy to support a great deal of them, yet at the end of this night everyone had the look that they were so happy to be there and everyone was so friendly and open, you almost forgot you were in LA! (for the record I do love LA but you all know what I mean...)

We'll be airing our interviews soon on the radio and TV sections of our site. In the meantime, check out their website and see the amazing amount of studies that show how this can benefit you and those around us. Help them out if you can with a donation or just get involved. We always support a more holistic approach to feeling your best and if Clint Eastwood can do it, so can you!

http://www.davidlynchfoundation.org/schools.html

Transcending....

2011-11-07T11:23:00.000-08:00

I am now a full-fledged, trained student of Transcendental Meditation. I've been sent out into the world to do my 20 minute morning and evening meditations. I can think of very few things I've done in this world twice a day for 20 minutes (well just a few) and I wasn't sure I could commit to the evening sessions so well.

So far, I've wanted to do both sessions because of the way it all makes you feel. You feel in bliss in your deepest state. You almost don't want to stop because it is so blissful. Afterwards you feel more calmness wash over you.

The big thing I wanted to observe for myself, being that I'm in a kind of fast moving, creative industry, if it would dull any of my abilities. I've heard that fear expressed by others as well as their concerns over the "religious" connotations. First, it's not a religion you have to join: it's an ancient practice of meditating from over 5,000 years ago. Second, I have actually found myself to feel clearer, more productive and much more creative!

As David Lynch Foundation's Bobby Roth explained on our show, it kind of takes down the unproductive chatter that goes on in our minds day to day and allows you to focus on the true things within yourself that matter most to you.

We'll be going to the Foundation Gala to interview people and see some of the amazing results that providing TM to inner city youth, homeless and Vets can do.

Stay tuned....

Going Deep

2011-10-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine told me about a particular kind of meditation that is good for those of us with an over-active mind. It's called Transcendental Meditation. Okay, I thought, I should try this method. Especially since when I start meditating with my friend, I open my eyes at what seems like the 20 minute mark only to find about 4 minutes have passed.

So far, I've just started my lessons and it's really interesting. In David Lynch's book he talks about how the feeling is like having an elevator cord break and falling deep down. It is like that. I'm intrigued with this and since I felt good and relaxed, I am going to continue on and report back here as I go for those of you that are searching for that perfect method to help quiet your minds.

Namaste

WEGO Health Activist Speaker Bureau

2011-07-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

We are going to be on the WEGO Health Activist Speakers Bureau and I thought some of you might be interested in learning more about it as well – it’s a great way for Health Activists to share our stories, raise awareness and get the word out about the work we’re doing.

Members of the WEGO Health Activist Speakers Bureau receive exclusive invitations to present at conferences, speak to members of the media, and be featured on WEGO Health.

Interested in joining the WEGO Health Activist Speakers Bureau? Apply today! It only takes a few minutes and they’ll email you as soon as they have opportunities relevant to you and your interests.

An Inspirational Young Lady and An Inspirational Video

2011-07-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

We pre-taped this week's radio show and the subject was a young woman that has written 2 books on her travels through being Bipolar and how she manages her recovery.

She's very inspirational and has learned to laugh along the way and is now healthy. She is also helping others with her work. She wrote a summary of her experiences and I thought I'd share that here. My favorite story was how when she heard Britney Spears was in the hospital for mental health help, she plotted to get herself put into the same hospital.. of course she did get into the hospital, only not the one Britney was in..... cute story.

The show airs on Sunday, 7:30 am every week on AM 1150 and on our website afterwards at www.fymps.com

Maricela's Story (thus far...)

I was diagnosed with bipolar since age 18 and have battled depression since middle school. My first suicide attempt was at age 14 by overdosing. My illness did not turn into psychosis until my freshman year in college.

I had these delusions of grandeur in which I thought I was the chosen one. God chose me to save the world. I refused to take my medication. I was on a rollercoaster of denial and this caused me to drop out of college and be in and out of mental hospitals. I was raised by a traditional Mexican Catholic mother and she did not understand mental illness so she took me to a witch doctor and he told her my problem was psychosis. I have had so many embarrassing delusions.

When I was 19, I had gone back to school and had been taking medication again but then I got stable and stopped taking it, thinking that maybe the mental illness went away. I was working two jobs. My mom and brother picked me up from work and after they took me to Super Warehouse to grocery shopping. I decided to rest and stay in the car. It was a hot summer day in August. I lay back in the seat and started praying, being hyper-religious as always. Suddenly I got an auditory hallucination and I thought the world was ending. I heard angelic music. I thought the world was ending and we had to be naked like Adam and Eve before they discovered sin. I was screaming. I locked myself in the car and tore of my clothes. When I came back to reality, I was in handcuffs naked from the waist up. There were for police vehicles and about a parking lot full of people staring at me. My mom and brother had returned and I heard my brother say to the police officer, “It’s a shame, she is an honors student and she ran for Miss Montebello.” The police yelled out, “She’s a regular.” And they drove me to Cerritos College Hospital.

I was in denial for 4 years that I was mentally ill. I accepted my illness on 4-20-2002 on my birthday in Easter when I had a public delusion in a foot ball field during the Sunrise Service. I promised myself that day that it was the last time I embarrass myself and promised not to skip a day without medication. My life suddenly began to change in a positive way. I earned three prestigious scholarships and was honored at UCLA. I graduated from Rio Hondo College with an AA in Liberal Studies and earned my BA in Communications and in 2006 from CSU, Fullerton. In 2009I released my memoir “Bipolar Girl: My Psychotic Self.” It was a series of journals I kept for ten years and I hoped maybe my story would help others and let me tell you it has. I had a book signing at Montebello library and the story made the front page of the newspaper. I had the reporter publish my personal email and now I get fan mail and offer peer support to other mental health consumers through facebook and twitter. I also graduated from the Peer Advocate Training at Project Return Peer Support Network and got hired as a Peer Supporter for the warm line. I have worked for a Prop 63 Program in Orange County and have been working for DMH for 8 months and I have a passion for what I do. I started a support group called Road to Recovery at my work in Rio Hondo Mental Health Center. I am also working on my second book, Beautiful Bipolar Bisexual. My dream is to go main stream. Oh, and my other dream is to make a documentary called “Because Bipolar is a Gift,” based on my recovery story and life.

MY OUTLOOK ON LIFE

Now at age 31, I perceive my mental illness as a gift of challenge that has made me stronger, more resilient, compassionate, loving and humble. My mental illness has opened my heart to be an inspiration to others and uplift the broken. I have hit rock bottom in the past, been on disability and food stamps but now it’s my time to shine.

My entire outlook on life has changed. I’m full of positive energy and I write down my positive affirmations every week like “I will be motivated and energized everyday” and “I will improve positively each day.” I’m a strong believer in the Law of Attraction and I thank God and the Universe for all my blessings.

Poem by Myra on Getting Rid of Mental Health Stigmas

2011-07-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

Myra was a special guest on our radio show. She has beaten the odds and comes out fighting for everyone's right to lead a happy life without the shadow of stigma. We love her and support her crusade! Here is her poem:

DIGNITY ß = à ~~STIGMA~~ ß = à RESPECT

I dedicate my LIGHT to the global-elimination of the useless & vile mind-sets, attitudes, beliefs, and thought-forms of STIGMA. Nothing holy, nothing honorable, nothing noble, worthwhile, or inspirational ever resulted from its application or inception. It takes one down a long, dark, cold, lonely, road leading no-where. Now, just what took us so long to figure that out?!!

How much money, how many degrees, how many meetings, how many graphs, how many committees, how many experts, how many blackberries, how many boards, how many flights, how many bluetooths, how many reports, how much mileage, how many laptops, how many spreadsheets, how much security, how much money, & how much time?!!

In the newspapers / about our families:

How many deaths, how much grief, how many shootings, how much despair, how much depression, how much prison, how many beatings, how much anger, how many Homies, how many stabbings, how much mourning, how much terror, how much fear, how many threats, how much murder, how much pain, how much destruction, how many handicaps, how much jail, how many tears, how many gangs, how much confusion, how much yelling, how many scars, how much wailing, how many rapes, how much torture, how much bail, how much loss, how much rage, how much killing, how much tragedy—all pain—no gain!

IS stigma the problem? I say “YES”. If we call STIGMA—everyday human interactions devoid of two crucial, fundamental, life-affirming components, which all cultures on all continents teach their children à Dignity & Respect.

Indeed, the Holy Grails of STIGMA are:

DIGNITY & RESPECT !!!

We need to teach and reinforce Dignity, entwined with self and other Respect,

not at a PhD level; but on a basic, street-level.

Because that’s where the youngin’s are; they’re the future; & they need to be our target audience.

We need to be absolutely, downright certain that they understand these concepts!!!

So that’s the plan… OK?!!

To teach & reinforce Dignity, entwined with self and other Respect, in our Kindergartens,

Grade Schools, Middle Schools, Junior Highs, and High Schools.

My name is Myra Kanter, and STIGMA <—> is Stupid, but Respect <—> is Smart,

and Dignity <—> is Respectable !!!

myrakanterrn@aol.com

transformed 5/2010

Independence Day: Born in the USA

2011-07-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yes its Independence day. Also, as my co-host Brian said on this week’s show: this is not only Independence for the USA (thank you Bruce for our opening song this week, Born in the USA) but we should also think about independence for our loved ones too.

As usual my co-host likes to surprise me with weekly topics. This week’s was very personal. I have spent years trying to help my loved ones. So has he. He posed the question: What about independence for our loved ones?

We know what it takes to be the “care-giver” of our loved ones. There is a point as I’ve mentioned before in my posts about “Meeting me halfway”. Sometimes we all can try so hard and forget that there are “two” people (or more) in this struggle. There are two people that need to work together to fight this fight.

“Letting Go” is harder than some people can imagine. Letting go can mean watching someone fall into depths that we don’t want to see. Depths that hurt us to our core.

However, as I’ve experienced, sometimes letting go, means letting them grow. Yes grow. The changes can be profound. But we don’t always know that this will turn out well, so it’s hard to release our hold on the control we feel we need to exert.

It’s worth trying though. My transformation with my loved one has been profound. Don’t get me wrong… it was difficult. I don’t like seeing anyone suffer. And I did see that. However sometimes when your loved one can do their own “care-giving” for themselves, they can also gain control over their lives and destinies. They can feel their own power. Sometimes you have to have faith.

Our guest host “KP” (Kathleen Piche) also supports this concept. She has the experience of working as a therapist and has seen this before. I thank her for her support. She is right that loved ones need to have their own sense of helping themselves too.

So on this “Independence Day”, think about the “Independence” that your loved one may need to experience. This is about how giving them their own independence, can also give them their own freedom. It’s not always perfect, but independence may be their own “ticket” out to their own free lives. God Bless our family and friends, your family and friends, and God Bless America! Enjoy your 4^th!

On a side note, It is worth mentioning that on our radio show, my co-host did a great “shout-out” to Clarence – the best sax player and Bruce Springsteen’s main “big man” in the E Street Band. We both felt a bad jolt when we heard that he had just passed away. He was truly special and talented.

Happy Father’s Day!

2011-06-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

Today I called my Dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day. I love, love, love my Dad. Best Dad ever.... Yes I know, all little girls love their daddies. But mine is special.... Really he is. He's a mix of John Wayne, Clint Eastwood and the Dalai Lama. Really. I'm not kidding.

Usually I try to write blogs that support our “mental and physical” strengths with sources for help. Today’s is really a letter to my Dad for Father’s day. I’m writing this because I’m reminded that we all need to have gratitude every day in our lives for those we love. There… that’s the message for today.

My Dad never stops giving me strength. When I said I wanted to be an astronaut as a young girl, he encouraged me. He helped me with my plan. Take pilot lessons… understand math and physics… whatever it took. Because I was a girl that didn’t matter. He supported me in whatever I wanted. He thought I was a great artist too. Astronaut and painter? Who knew?

My choices in life of people and everything have revolved around his teachings. He’s honest, compassionate and wise. I have picked my life partner because he also displays those qualities.

Today my dad gave me a message of support and love even though I’m a grown woman now and should be able to identify my own strengths and support myself. He told me a story of how the robins in his garden were able to fight off a much larger hawk and how great he thought their strength was to protect their nests and do it as a coordinated effort. I often see the same thing out here on the beach and think about how brave they are. They are also fathers and mothers protecting their young.

The next thing he told me was the most important thing. He probably didn’t even know that this was the most important part to me because it comes naturally to him. He said “you’re creative and write stories… I think you should do something around that with your writing or drawings or make a series out of it”.

It wasn’t just the story he told me. It was his faith in me that I could do anything. That was the message that made my heart happy. He is still encouraging my growth as a person and giving me positive support. He’s never stopped. Sure and steady like John Wayne to me. It’s not the story about the birds that affected me… it’s the faith he has in me and my strengths and growth as a person that really moves me…. Again.

He always told me that I was special. He said that I have no fear and love growing and evolving and that amazed him. I have a child-like quality that he thought would be too innocent for the world. He tried to shore me up to deal with the “real world”.

The other nice thing he said was “I think of you everyday”… Ok, it’s because I used my magical engineering student ways to show him how to use the car remote, but hey… he said it. Truth is, I think of him every day in many ways.

So here’s to my father….. my dad that never stops giving to me in so many positive and life-affirming ways. He is the best Dad in my eyes and always will be.

Gifts that keep on giving.... Some ideas for Christmas Giving

2011-06-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

I am a subscriber to this site called “Greater Good”. The idea is to give gifts of meaning. Gifts that not only make the receiver happy, but also do good for others around the world.

A positive attitude and feeling good about yourself is important and it’s nice to let people know you care. For people that are dealing with health issues, it’s extremely important.

Why not give 3 fold? Happy Giving!

Meet Me Halfway

2011-06-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

I have bounced my head against a brick wall time and time again.

That wall is my brother. If I see him sinking, I go in with the life rafts to keep him afloat. The rafts are about getting the basics done: getting him to the Dr., getting his meds, getting him to groups, getting him housing, clothing, food… and so on and so on.

I recently realized, after my friends and loved ones around me told me a million times (yes now I’m listening to you all), that I had to start getting him to meet me halfway. It was actually hard for me. It’s against my nature to not try to help others if I sense they need help. I’ve always been the strong one and able to come up with solutions. My objective was also to shield my parents from some pretty painful experiences that I didn’t want them to witness.

I have met hundreds like myself that want to make their loved one feel and be comfortable. All of us share that same experience where we say: “If I don’t do this, they aren’t capable and will get hurt”. Then we find ourselves taking on so many aspects of their lives that we can lose pieces of our own.

It’s a hard thing to do, but once you settle them with the basic tools they need, sometimes it’s best to step back and ask yourself: can they meet me halfway now?

As always, If you want the latest on our Radio show, resources, news and tips, send us your email and we’ll put you on our list.

2011-06-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

What I learned at The American Psychiatric Association Conference

Rest assured America: there are great minds working hard for us. They are working on understanding the brain in ways you can’t imagine. My favorite, as always, have to do with the tests that use MRI’s to record the actual brain patterns of patients with different issues and the effects of different treatments. It’s “fascinating” as Spock would say.

The insights from the great minds of our country give us all hope. Hope for cures, hope for happiness.

We did many interviews and they will be on our radio shows that we broadcast to all of Los Angeles and they are also here on our site as podcasts from our live radio show: (www.FYMPS.com )

One particular interview was off the record and I will keep his identity safe. He feels the same as we here at FYMPS have felt at one time or another. If only we had known and/or been able to use some of these medications or therapies sooner we may not have lost so many to various tragedies. There are also many people that could be helped today that aren’t aware of their options.

I often think of my brother. He’s Brilliant… Funny… Fearless… All great things and some are maybe symptoms because of his bipolar situation which I embrace. But there are bad things that are a big part of his issues that have happened to him which I’m afraid will shorten his life. His interpersonal relationships have been tumultuous and never last no matter how charming he is.

In that vein I also look forward. Forward to the day that we have even better means to help others.

From what I witnessed at the APA conference, I believe we all may soon see miracles occur that save more lives from despair and let everyone lead healthy lives.

PS: I also learned that some of these guys like to party!

Why using bath salts can lead to suicide….

2011-05-31T14:57:00.000-07:00

I’m writing this post because we learned that there is a new epidemic of drug use out there and we’re hoping to reach out to parents to warn them. New “bath salts” are being sold in drug paraphernalia shops all over the country.

Although they claim to be for baths, it’s well-known by kids and the store owners that these are used to sniff and get high.

There have been 2,700 cases coming through the Emergency Rooms. Sixty five cases were in one small town in Marquette, in the upper peninsula in Michigan. The alarming fact here is that many of the users of this new “drug” are hallucinating badly. For many of them that start to “lose it” and think there is no end to the terrible hallucinations, some are turning to suicide as a way out. An ER doctor in a mid-sized town said he sees about 3 of these cases everyday now and that it’s the fastest growing drug used for abuse that he’s seen in his career.

Be aware: these “bath salts” are dangerous in so many ways. The labeling says “not for human consumption” but they all know what they’re used for. Take a look at what’s in your kid’s pockets. It often can come in a small round tin that looks like a lip gloss tin. If you see anything like this, it’s time to tell them the facts and get help before they too become a victim of this new designer drug.

Drug Rehab Hotline: 1-(855)-HOPE-NOW 1-(855)-467-3669

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800- 273 – TALK (24/7 availability)

Thank a Soldier

2011-05-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

It’s Memorial Day Weekend and as we all have our barbeques and pool parties it’s important for us all to remember our past and present soldiers that have fought so hard to keep us all safe and free.

I thank everyone of them I see in airports and even on the streets. Yes the streets. It’s estimated that 20 to 30 percents of all homeless are vets. It’s very sad. They are basically the ones that didn’t get the proper treatment that may have kept their lives on a path that would include them back into our society.

Our show on the radio for Memorial Day was profound. Steve Peck is an ex-Marine that has helped 20,000 soldiers over the years. He’s helped 1,000’s get help and get back into the workplace. US Vets and Steve are amazing. (Steve is the son of Gregory Peck and he was lucky enough to inherit those beautiful eyes!)

He brought a wonderful woman named Linda. Another startling fact: many female soldiers have unfortunately been raped as Linda was. It adds more to their PTSD issues of course. She is now working with US Vets and doing very well as a peer counselor.

As always, I am fascinated with numbers. One in three vets return with some kind of mental health issue: and how could they not?. They all have their own stories, most horrific compared to our charmed lives over here in the States. Right now there are about 46,000 that will be coming back from serving in Iraq alone. That’s potentially 14,000 vets coming back soon with issues that need treated and our understanding.

Again: Thank a soldier and thank a vet, it’s time to remember them.

“So I was watching this guy talk to his shaving cream the other day”

2011-05-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

That was how my brother started his conversation with me today. Everyone around laughed. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t make fun of anyone’s serious conditions, but I realized we all have to have a sense of humor about some of these things.

The truth is that it’s all very sad and difficult for those afflicted and the caregivers alike. But there’s another side to all of these situations as well. We have to take in the little moments of laughter between us and our loved ones.

Ten years ago this story would have just added more to my concerns. Now we can share these stories and get a kick out of them without being horrified. We can understand that we can positively support others dealing with these serious conditions, but to also keep it a little light here and there.

The best times now are when my brother occasionally pulls a joke on me where he can now see the humor in some of his own decisions. Not only does his sense of humor make me happy but it also means he is self-aware of the things he might do that aren’t so good. That’s happiness for me.

More and more I am trying to see the lighter sides of mental illness. There’s enough sadness and seriousness out there already. Mom always said not to make fun of anyone and we don’t. But sometimes you just have to have a sense of humor about it all.

And so what if that guy enjoys talking to his shaving cream?

Chills, Pride, Sadness and Tears

2011-05-15T15:23:00.000-07:00

I experienced all of these today at the Pearl Harbor Memorial. It was amazing. I love World War II History and thought I’d read everything but still learned more. I saw a copy of FDR’s famous Date of Infamy speech there. He had used “world history” in the original and scratched it out with pencil to put in the word “infamy” instead. I already knew that but seeing it on paper and written on was amazing.

Visiting the Arizona itself under the water moved me so intensely I had not only emotional but also physical reactions… I had chills, shakiness and tears of course. It just hits you seeing it all and realizing the fact that it’s a tomb for all those men now. The 2 quarts of oil that still come out of the ship each day are considered the black “tears” of the men that were killed that day.

Why am I writing about this on a blog about mental health? It occurred to me at one point that there isn’t a memorial for the mentally ill and their families that have suffered. Am I comparing the two events? Absolutely not… .but there are parallels. Stay with me here…

Someone going through mental illness is often “hit” without warning. Devastation occurs. Family members are in shock and at the same time feel helpless. Grief happens. It’s often unfathomable. Some die and some are “shell shocked”.

There are “what if’s” asked along the way. What if we had known? What if we had been prepared?

Maybe there are no memorials for mental health because of the stigma. Who would really go after all? Who would want to see their stories memorialized?

I know I would …. Because my experiences with mental health and loved ones have already caused me to have Chills, Pride, Sadness and Tears.

Thank a vet today.....

Mental Health: A New Paradigm and Focus

2011-05-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

It has been on the news wires all over: a new focus on Mental Health is the new “racial equality” movement of today. It was a very strong statement by Patrick Kennedy. His point is that mental health stigma is still “in the closet” and needs to be discussed openly like racial equality and other issues have been in the past. We often say here that having a mental health issue is very much like being in the closet” so to speak.

No matter what your political beliefs, this is important news. Mr. Kennedy has himself talked about his struggles with being Bipolar.

He is now forming a new group as co-chairman to create a 10 year plan on how to deal with brain disorders. John F. Kennedy was his Uncle of course. So there is a link to “sending a man to the moon” and this new cause.

As printed in USA Today: The forum, which Kennedy calls a "moon shot into the mind," launches on the eve of the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy's challenge to send a man to the moon within a decade.

"We're trying to introduce a new paradigm bringing in the metaphor of my uncle's call-to-action for going to the moon," says Patrick Kennedy, 43, who retired from Congress in 2010. "We're trying to repurpose that branding to something I believe is equally important."

He is right; it is equally important since it affects so many people’s lives.

We will be watching to see what comes out of this meeting and we wish the best to all the participants!

Fear Factor is Back!

2011-05-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

I love Fear Factor the TV show. Where else can you see everyday people do really wild stunts? Although I do always skip the eat a bug or internal organs segments.

One thing I do know is that many people with Bipolar disorder lose a little bit of their internal fear. They are more apt to take on challenges that may put them in danger of getting hurt. My brother has jumped off of tall bridges not knowing if there are rocks below the water’s surface. He’s jumped off my 3^rd floor railing down to our pool narrowly missing the cement edge. He says that he never feels more alive than when he jumps. I am thinking of getting him a skydiving lesson for his birthday now.

This is just a message to those out there with Bipolar and their caregivers: just because you have the impulse, think twice and maybe ask someone before you leap.

May is Mental Health Month!

2011-05-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

May is the month we all “celebrate” mental health. There are 5k runs, lots of walks, PSAs, TV Specials, Radio Shows (Free Your Mind) and parades with floats. Well, maybe not the parades.

It is a time to reflect on what mental health means. By the numbers, whether people are aware of it or not, it affects 1 out of every 4 of us in the world. That’s according to the scientists out there.

So that means that of the total world population, estimated at around 7 Billion, that there are around 1.75 Billion affected out there.

For the US alone we have 310 Million people. So 1 in 4 means 77 Million people affected by a mental health issue.

That’s a lot of people….. so why don’t we have a parade?

Catherine Zeta-Jones : Brave-heart

2011-04-27T15:51:00.000-07:00

She’s an Oscar winner, part of Hollywood Royalty, with beauty, elegance and grace. A perfect life in many people’s eyes.

There seemed to be a mini-shock wave that went around the Hollywood press and websites on the revelation that she was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder. “She doesn’t look like she has any problems!”, “how could she be afflicted with that?” and more.

She had a tough year while supporting her husband, Michael Douglas, through cancer. It was stated that once he was cleared of the cancer, that although she was very happy, she could feel a dark cloud looming over her head. She knew she needed to get help and, bravely, she did.

I am very impressed that she was brave enough and compassionate enough to “come out” and support others with Bipolar disorder. She could have gone the other way and said it was “due to stress” or “alcohol treatment” which are more accepted in Hollywood. She took a much better tact.

Here’s her official statement:

“This is a disorder that affects millions of people and I am one of them. If my revelation of having bipolar II has encouraged one person to seek help, then it is worth it. There is no need to suffer silently and there is no shame in seeking help.”

She is a true modern-day, female Brave-Heart… but instead of fighting the English, she is fighting stigma.

You may ask yourself: What is the Difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II??

2011-04-25T15:54:00.000-07:00

After Catherine Zeta- Jones’ Revelation of her Bipolar II Diagnosis, you may ask yourself: What’s the Difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II??

I know I did. Having a brother that has always seemed to bounce off the walls and can’t stop his racing mind I thought I knew what all people living with a Bipolar disorder were like him. Wrong. I had to be schooled…

The layman’s way to explain it is that a person with Bipolar in general experiences dramatic mood changes from mania to depression. As our friend Kathleen Piche over at LA County Mental Heath (with a degree in social work btw) said, it’s kind of like a roller coaster: Quick peaks and then dropping down to the bottom.

Although there are 2 types of Bipolar disorder.

Bipolar I episodes of mania can be more extreme (think “Winning!” – you know who you are… ) and grandiose thoughts.

Whereas Bipolar II has more extended periods of depression between the highs. And this is the part that was new to me: the highs of Bipolar II can also seem more like an agitated and/or anxiety state than that of Bipolar I. It has more depression states than bipolar I.

So I stand corrected: Not all mania is the same. I can recognize Bipolar I in a person in a manic state pretty quickly. For people with Bipolar II it’s not so simple. Especially for women: you can experience the “highs” as really anxiety situations versus being grandiose like Charlie Sheen. Harder to identify and more prevalent than you think.

As we always say, if you have any concerns, see a real professional. Don’t go to your Dermatologist and ask for an anti-depressant! (we’ve seen this occur) Get diagnosed and do what the doctor suggests.

The "Walking Dead" are among us

2011-04-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

I hate zombie movies. People walking around without a connection to the rest of the humans in the world. So disconnected that they do bad things to people and people tend to run from them.

I often refer to my loved ones and many homeless people with mental illness as the “Walking Dead”. What I mean by that is that they live on another plane where they are often ignored and sometimes beyond help. People do shun, ignore and try to avoid them too. They fall through the cracks of our society. They are the hardest cases to help to get their lives back on track.

Kudos to all the family caregivers out there. I often hear case workers say that without family member involvement, that many of these people just die on the streets alone. Sad.

Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health has special programs where they take the homeless and assign them higher involved care with caseworkers to turn their lives around. It is successful and continuing.

Someone we befriended is Stephen who spent 20 years on skid row in downtown LA. One of the hardest areas to survive in the country unfortunately. Especially with schizophrenia, depression, abuse, addiction and many other issues.

I am happy to say he has since turned his life around and is leading a healthy lifestyle.

This makes me happy to know that the walking dead can maybe someday be the walking living out there with us.

Trouble Me....

2011-04-23T15:38:00.000-07:00

I loved this song when came out in 1989. I related to it. Many people told me they thought of me when they heard it and still do.

“Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden… when my back is sturdy, and strong….” It’s a great line.

Every caregiver that reads this can relate to some degree. We love our family members, friends or mates that are dealing with any kind of health issue and we want to help.

It’s in my nature to want to help, I can’t help it. Maybe it's that female side of me that goes the distance to a fault some say… fortunately I also have that male side that wants to come up with solutions in a logical manner.

The very best thing to do when you sense that something is going on is to start the dialogue. Let them know they can talk to you about whatever they are feeling without judgment. Because judgment is what they are fearing.

“The calm I feel means a storm is swelling” is another great line. I’ve seen this many times. You think everything is good: no activity… No news is good news. If someone you care for is starting to recede, not talk, not socialize you may want to take that as another clue that they may need to talk. They may be shutting down and overwhelmed. And when I say talk, I mean a dialogue about things other than questions about whether they are taking their meds or not.

Sometimes if you just ask: “Is there something troubling you?”, you may be able to stop that storm from coming in…

I Need a Doctor Part 2

2011-04-07T16:17:00.000-07:00

When I first understood my family member’s diagnosis… I felt I needed a Doctor to see if I had the same prognosis. I was assured I didn’t have the same issues. I was told that it’s a “chances game” with genetics and that I had essentially dodged a bullet.

That gave me a kind of “survivors guilt” … but that’s another story.

Although relieved, it didn’t take away the work that needed to be done. I needed to get them to a real Doctor.. one that could diagnose and help us on our journey.

Finding a good Doctor can be difficult. My recommendations are this as a caregiver: go with them to all initial meetings.

Speak up! You must tell your experiences to the doctor only because sometimes your loved one will try to mask certain behaviors or don’t think their behaviors are out of line.

After explaining your experiences and then letting your loved one speak, make sure that the plan the doctor wants to put in place is understood as well.

And if you have any issues that were a part of your struggles, get your own help as well.

Happy Endings

2011-03-28T15:45:00.000-07:00

I love Happy Endings. For those of you with a dirty mind: not those kind….

I strive to find the happy endings to the 100’s of people we come across. Ok, I am an idealist at times. I admit it. However, who doesn’t want to see their loved one or a friend overcome mental illness or some other health issue?

However, what is it that they have to overcome? You don’t like where they live? Don’t like their friends? I realize that living their best life possible is the best we can all hope for. The Happy Ending may be the “happy today” where things are just working their best. They’re taking their meds, feeling healthy, not in danger and in a happy place and we have to be happy for that state of being.

I’ve told my mom and many others that sometimes people dealing with these issues have their own measure of what a happy life is. Just because it’s different from ours doesn’t mean we have to force our ideas of how they should be onto them. Sometimes they are just happier living the way they want. Without the rules and regulations we all live by.

Remember that many of the most creative, powerful and amazing people in history have also had these challenges and didn’t live life in the “normal way”. Einstein, Van Gogh to just name a few. They are freer to live the way they want, regardless of our idealist ideas of a happy ending.

I Need a Doctor!

2011-03-07T15:58:00.000-08:00

If you have a family member with any kind of mental health issue that’s in crisis, then you’ve been there…..

That place between the administrator that can help your loved one get help and the situation that can only be described as “hell”.

Have you ever been asked “We need to get a diagnosis from someone, you need to take him back to a facility”

You respond: “Ok, but wouldn’t you agree he’s in crisis right now by looking at him?”

Yes, they reply but we have protocol and rules…

You respond: “He’s got his lithium with his Dr’s name on it and he was diagnosed obviously: they haven’t come up with a cure yet for Bipolar I have they?”

Ok… yes I started to become frustrated and a wise-guy… and you know where that got me… Back to square one with the repeating of “we have protocol and rules…..” Reasoning won’t help no matter how you try sometimes.

Anyone that’s had a family member in crisis knows that just getting them anywhere is a major feat. It’s all frustrating when it comes down to rules, protocol and paperwork when it’s really about people in crisis.

So, what do we do?

When you have the means to make appointments, drive, pay for things etc. you do it. But stop to consider that a system is in place if your family member is in crisis. When I say crisis, I mean they are a threat to themselves or others.

In most areas around the country you can call 911 and explain your situation and they will have a trained team and will call a 5150 or PET team or another named team available for these emergencies.

Get them involved.

They are trained to handle these situations and often-times having family involved only escalates emotions.

Try the professionals. If it’s not working in your area…. Insist on better care!

Thank You!

2011-02-27T15:48:00.000-08:00

It happens….Sometimes it seems like a rarity… but it does happen…...

You take your loved one somewhere for help and more than likely you may feel like you’re getting the run-around. It’s difficult because there is so much paperwork that needs to be done but you’re focused on the person. Although I’ve noticed over the past few years that it has definitely changed in LA. A dictate came from the top to handle the toughest cases and follow them through. I see this working more and more.

I want to do a shout-out to one person that gave a lot of effort in a time of need AND didn’t give up: Thank you Johnnie at the VOA….. you’ve been great to help us and not give up.

Survivor's Guilt

2011-02-07T16:22:00.000-08:00

When my family members were diagnosed, I did have a sort of “survivor’s guilt” in my head. Why was I the lucky one?

I have been able to move in and out of my life's journey in what I consider a wonderful, beautiful way.

I have learned a multitude of businesses and wonderful causes that I have fought for, travelled the world and loved many people. I feel blessed all the time.

Yet I am sad for my family members that never got to receive the chance to do these things and to bestow these joys on others. It makes me feel a bit guilty.

But I know now that it’s not about what we did with our blessings and/or curses…. It’s about what we feel inside and what we want to do with them or don’t. Over the years I’ve flipped it around to feeling sorry for my brother for instance, to now being thankful for his gifts instead.

There aren’t many people that can explain quantum physics to me like he can. There aren’t many that have such a wild sense of humor or can fix just about anything you can think of. I’m counting the blessings instead of focusing on the things that aren't so good.

I realize I feel at peace with what gifts I have been given and trust that they feel the same way with theirs.